When you have young children, you know; you just have to accept that there’s going to be things that you don’t want to do and there’s going to be movies that you don’t want to see. Because my son is only six years old he’s attracted to all the traditional kid shows and movies that are coming out, and even though I have the ability to determine if movies are going to be good or not, I still have to bite the bullet for the sake of my son and go see certain kid movies.
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is one of those movies that you can tell from the advertisements and the trailers that it was going to be just one of those ‘cheesy’ kids movies, but I didn’t really think it would be worse than the first one; I was wrong.
It’s a PG movie [standard and 3D] and a solid 98 minutes of boredom I will never get back…
Dwayne Johnson has had one of those careers were he starts making some fairly decent action movies and those worked out fine, but now he’s doing just a bunch of kids shows, and they absolutely suck. It’s like watching a very muscular Eddie Murphy, but without the comedy. He seems to be focusing on kids movies and trying to be funny— it’s just not him. I liked him a lot better in Fast Five.
The movie starts off with a rebellious son [Sean Anderson], disgruntled by issues of relocation and stepfather wanting to step up and bring his family closer together. Building to this point is forecasted the entire way. The boy receives a message from his long-lost grandfather [Michael Caine], and then they decide to travel together around the world, as a bonding event, but it quickly turns from an experiment over to a wild adventure to a mystical island. The mystical island events from there are a cross between Avatar and Spy Kids.
The graphics for the movie were really good. but all the computer graphics in the world were not going to rescue the cheesy dialogue, comical action sequences and the horrible acting abilities of Luis Guzman, who plays the role of helicopter pilot. They should have painted Rob Schneider and made him the comedy role…
There’s one last main role, playing the stubborn daughter of a helicopter pilot, played by Vanessa Hudgens. Her role is almost useless as is her acting ability. She’s also supposed to play the romantic role for Sean Anderson. It’s the quintessential maturing young man trying to figure out how to woo a girl.
Everything about the movie was predictable, and apparently everything about the movie was impossible. This is one of those movies where it never should have been made, and if so; it should have gone straight to DVD. Even when this movie comes out on DVD, I’ll don’t see myself watching then… I wouldn’t waste my time twice.
And while I know this movie was horrible, I believe my son found it entertaining… So I’m sure I will be going to a few more years of ‘kids’ movies.
If you must see it, wait for the DVD; going to the theater is just too masochistic…
Larry Henry Jr.
…via Dragon NaturallySpeaking 11