How to Cause Instant Email Rage

EmailAnger_thumb How to Cause Instant Email RageIt really doesn’t matter who sends the email to you when your talking about EMAIL RAGE; it’s like Road Rage but different. Surely this could be filed under email etiquette, but let’s just call it what it is.

Emails from people can infuriate people so quickly, and not even have the intention to. Trust me, I know. [long story]

And sadly enough, the perpetrators are typically people you know, or even worse, people you would call family. That’s bad; cause’ while it would be anyone else you might say to them, ‘get lost’, you now has to smile and place a charade to mask the disappointment.

What can you do?

Emails without CARRIAGE RETURNS.

It staggers the mind of people when they get an email from people and the information that’s presented is something that would be used to support a wall.

Say for instance I get something like this…

Summary: TCP and IP were developed by a Department of Defense (DOD) research project to connect a number different networks designed by different vendors into a network of networks (the "Internet"). It was initially successful because it delivered a few basic services that everyone needs (file transfer, electronic mail, remote logon) across a very large number of client and server systems. Several computers in a small department can use TCP/IP (along with other protocols) on a single LAN. The IP component provides routing from the department to the enterprise network, then to regional networks, and finally to the global Internet. On the battlefield a communications network will sustain damage, so the DOD designed TCP/IP to be robust and automatically recover from any node or phone line failure. This design allows the construction of very large networks with less central management. However, because of the automatic recovery, network problems can go undiagnosed and uncorrected for long periods of time.The Internet Protocol was developed to create a Network of Networks (the "Internet"). Individual machines are first connected to a LAN (Ethernet or Token Ring). TCP/IP shares the LAN with other uses (a Novell file server, Windows for Workgroups peer systems). One device provides the TCP/IP connection between the LAN and the rest of the world. To insure that all types of systems from all vendors can communicate, TCP/IP is absolutely standardized on the LAN. However, larger networks based on long distances and phone lines are more volatile. In the US, many large corporations would wish to reuse large internal networks based on IBM’s SNA. In Europe, the national phone companies traditionally standardize on X.25. However, the sudden explosion of high speed microprocessors, fiber optics, and digital phone systems has created a burst of new options: ISDN, frame relay, FDDI, Asynchronous Transfer Mode (ATM). New technologies arise and become obsolete within a few years. With cable TV and phone companies competing to build the National Information Superhighway, no single standard can govern citywide, nationwide, or worldwide communications. The original design of TCP/IP as a Network of Networks fits nicely within the current technological uncertainty. TCP/IP data can be sent across a LAN, or it can be carried within an internal corporate SNA network, or it can piggyback on the cable TV service. Furthermore, machines connected to any of these networks can communicate to any other network through gateways supplied by the network vendor.

I may read probably 2-3 lines from this and I’m done; continuing any further is just plain torture. Putting a carriage return is a necessity. It breaks the train line of endless text, and it makes cause for point of importance, or change in thought.

There’s no break. It’s a BLOCK of text and it’s uninteresting.

Where does a person look at it and say this is the section that’s really important. You can’t. It’s not there and it make it irritating because most likely your going to take it, copy and paste, reformat it so you can use it or forward it on without looking like a complete ass.



Is it possible to remotely disable peoples CAPS LOCK key?

Why is it that people can’t understand that sending emails in all CAPS [CAPITAL LETTERS] is considered shouting; no one likes being shouted at. I can understand ignorance, but ignorance says that you can still learn. Without the ability to learn you become what they call ‘stupid’ – mean you can’t learn. Subsequently, this is very bad.

So get an email like this…


How is this inferred? First off, this had better be official or something that was pulled directly from an users manual, or something that requires be quoted. I may read the whole thing to make sure I’m not missing something, but I’m not going to have sustained conversation with you.

Two things are going to happen, I’m going to ask you to use proper case when typing, or I’m going to stop correspondence. Just looking at words and sentences that way is going to irritate someone.



What’s with the multiple exclamations, question marks, dashes and periods?

I think everyone knows this person, or a person like this. It’s like every time you get an email from this person it’s like a damn lecture or it’s so overly exciting or critical they could barely type out the message on the screen.

HEY!!!! What’s up?!?! — is this not a fantastic day……?????????????????????????????????????? I can’t wait to get in the office and DO SOME WORK!!! Have YOU talked to Louis??? He’s nuts right?!?!?????????? Dude….. WHAT are WE going to do about the part??????????????? ——-get back with me!! Peace. >:-)D

These have to be second to the all CAPS thing; man I hate these. People like this just drive me insane. Wouldn’t this type of communication be done better on the side of a building or maybe just using a regular phone call.

First, I can understand using ‘…’ to wrap up a though or a sentence, but used in excess- holy crap are you irritating now. And the ‘?!?!?’, seriously I see the first set of ‘?!’ and I understand it’s an important question, but they go so far as to just keep going on and on.

I don’t know what they expect me to do with all that extra information? Am I supposed to get even MORE worked up about it? So basically  it’s okay to use one or two here and there, but the more you use them the more people just stop listening.



Do you have to REPLY ALL all the time?

Do you know people like this? They don’t know the difference between REPLY and REPLY ALL? They’re sitting their by themselves, they get an email and then they don’t have enough power to understand, THIS doesn’t warrant a REPLY ALL.

Something like…

You send out an invitation to all your close friend and beloved family members…

Hi everyone, I’m sending out this invitation to have everyone come over to my house for the annual shot the beer can off my head with a potatoes gun day. It was such a great time last year – and Timmy is able to eat solid foods again. RSVP!

and you get this back from Bruce… REPLYING ALL

Yo dude, I can’t make it. I went to the doctor today and they found a growth on my ding ding, and it itches a lot – so I can’t make it.  And remember, don’t tell Timmy I said his wife’s boobs are too small. And have fun! btw, all my drug charges were dropped.

Yeah, see these types of problems can be avoided if you just simply reply correctly. I guess the first question is does the initial email require a response? Is it on a personal level? And does everyone need to know what I’ve say? REPLY WISELY.



The one word reply…

If you’ve to send out an invitation or send out a notice to other workers.

Something like this…

Attention: All Workers

The bathrooms have flooded over and the plumbers will be here soon to resolve the issue. In the meantime, we ask that you be aware of the foods and liquids you take in and not over indulge until after this issue has been resolved.

Seems simple enough; it’s straight forward and truthfully, this doesn’t require a response… But you get one.


My friend, if I get an email from you on an email like this, your IQ just dropped 60 points. What the hell are you thinking? Do you work in the mailroom, just promoted from managing the coffee machine? And it’s even worse if you do this in ALL CAPS, and REPLYING ALL…


So while the function of sending emails are fairly simple, the SKILL of sending an email is far from refined for some.

It’s almost like there should be a short class in schools on how to send an email properly. And it’s been said that texting is destroying the English language; and I agree with them. Sending information electronically or any way else is a reflection of who you are, and how you communicate. Words describe you much better than a picture ever will.

So be kind to others… before you REPLY ALL.


Hope this helps.


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