I was so completely put out by the performances of the actors that played in the movie. I didn’t care for any of the characters. There’s nothing that they did that made their character interesting enough to even care what was going on.
If you really really enjoy women in skintight latex suits, tons and tons of computer graphics/effects and mass destruction, you’ll be visually entertained.
The synopsis of the movie is that a weapon of mass destruction is created, the military is supposed to protect against the villain getting the weapon, the villain gets the weapon, uses the weapon and then it’s up to G.I. Joe to save the day again. It’s a completely unique storyline.
The introduction of Cobra Cmdr. should’ve been made within the first 35 minutes of the movie. There should’ve been a hint, a shadow or a glimpse of Cobra Cmdr.’s helmet, but the movie is hell-bent on character development, background flashbacks and explanations. G.I. Joe has been around for years; it’s G.I. Joe.
It needs no explanation… Just tell the freakin’ story [actually the lack of].
The Movie Trailer
The movie trailer for G.I. Joe is the perfect example of how take a less than perfect movie, highlight all the perfect scenes, all of the good stuff, put it all together into a short run and to sucker you in to going to see the longest two-hour movie of your life.
If this movie is not on DVD in a month, I’d be surprised.
The special effects
I think that Dennis Quaid was supposed to be an obvious box office draw. Mr. Quaid has played in several high-caliber rolls and has shown himself to be a very good actor, but in this movie it does him absolutely no justice. From beginning to end I think that Dennis Quaid had approximately one page of full dialogue. He can act so much better and he is such a quality performer that I think that the role of him being in this movie was one of simply just getting a paycheck. My recommendation to him would be not to reprise his role with this adaptation of G.I. Joe.
The so-called main character of the movie is Duke, played by Channing Tatum. His performance in G.I. Joe could only be slightly outperformed by watching a rock to Riverdance. I would love to hear any conversations the director had to have with them in regards to his inspiration for the character, quiet, withdrawn, distraught, a feeling of guilt and somewhere in the mix a feeling of duty. He must’ve pulled the script directly out of a Sylvester Stallone movie; he only says about 12 words per scene and the rest of the time he’s running around with a gun with lots and lots of explosions.
Sienna Miller plays the role of the Baroness, working for the forces of Cobra. Again she’s one of those characters that you really just don’t care about. From the comic books she supposed to be ruthless, but as with most Hollywood movies they want to give the characters something that women can be sympathetic about- show that they’re human. What they should’ve done with her character is kept her in black tight leather, with great scenes of her with black hair and sunglasses kicking the butt of G.I. Joe’s. If you watch the movie [before it hits DVD in 3 weeks] you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Personally, this is my first experience with seeing Marlon Wayans as an action figure in a big-budget movie [that wasn’t produced by his brother]. Mr. Wayans plays the comic relief in G.I. Joe. He gets to where the action suits, say the witty lines and play the role of the court jester. I don’t see where his performance is anywhere in the caliber of impressive. I think his performance in G.I. Joe is a slightly more serious than his previous role from Scary Movie. But in all honesty the only thing that really made this movie interesting enough to keep watching was the comedy inserts that Mr. Wayans was able to provide.
I would like to mention that the person who played the role of Snake Eyes, played his role perfectly. He was dressed completely in black latex with some seriously cool sunglasses, some awesome martial arts exposition’s and he never said a word… it was perfect.
The movie rating [PG13]
On a scale of 1 to 10, I think G.I. Joe rates a solid three. It’s interesting enough just to watch the computer graphics and special effects.
I would love to hear what you thought about the movie.
Tell me if you think I’m wrong.
Thanks for reading!
Review – G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
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